Funeral Alternatives: Ditch the Debt, Keep the Meaning
Still Doing It the Old Way?
Most of us are still following the funeral script handed down by people who never had real choices. A body goes to a funeral home. You pay for embalming, a viewing, a velvet-lined coffin, a funeral service someone else planned, and a reception with weak tea and dry cake. Then comes the invoice. Ten grand or more. And you walk away wondering what just happened.
We do it because we think we’re supposed to. Because no one told us we didn’t have to.
But there are other ways. Simpler ways. Kinder, cheaper, more honest ways that actually feel like the person we’re saying goodbye to.
This guide is for anyone who wants to do it differently. Whether you’re planning ahead or figuring it out after a death, whether you’ve got a budget or none at all, this is for you.
You don’t need a hearse or a black suit to say goodbye properly. You need time, space, and the right people around you.
Too Long; Didn’t Read: Funeral Alternatives
You don’t have to spend ten grand to say goodbye.
Direct cremation and direct burial are legal and simple. No chapel, no embalming, no pressure.
Natural burial and human composting let the body return to the earth without chemicals or waste.
You can hold a memorial anywhere that mattered to the person — at home, in a park, or down by the water.
Ashes can be scattered, buried, planted with a tree, or turned into something useful.
The people, the stories, the food and music — that’s what makes it meaningful.
If the traditional funeral doesn’t feel right, you don’t have to do it.
Legal, Practical, and Often Overlooked
These are the options the funeral home usually skips over. They’re legal, simple, and you stay in control.
Direct cremation
The body is picked up, cremated, and the ashes are returned in a basic container. No embalming, no viewing, no pressure to plan a service right away. After in Oregon starts around $995. Tulip Cremation offers it nationwide and can be arranged online.
Direct burial
Same idea, different process. The body is buried without embalming, a viewing, or a formal funeral. Just a simple casket or shroud and a quiet goodbye. Not every cemetery allows it, but many do if you ask.
Natural burial
No chemicals. No vaults. Just the body, a shroud or biodegradable casket, and the soil. Herland Forest in Washington offers this for around $3,000. It’s a conservation cemetery that keeps costs down and lets nature take the lead.
Human composting (Natural Organic Reduction)
The body is placed in a vessel with wood chips and straw, and over 30 to 60 days it becomes soil. Return Home in Washington calls it terramation. It’s legal in several states now and costs about $4,950, plus a few hundred for transport and paperwork.
Real Memorials, No Suits Required
You don’t need velvet chairs or a man in a black tie to say goodbye. Some of the best memorials happen in backyards, living rooms, community halls, or anywhere people can show up and be real.
Home gatherings
Put on their favorite music. Light a candle. Let people talk, cry, laugh, and share stories. It doesn’t need a schedule. Just a bit of love and time together.
Backyard send-offs
Set up a few tables, bring out folding chairs, hang some lights. Ask people to bring flowers or food. Paint the coffin if you like. What matters is that it feels like them.
Places that mattered
Hold the memorial where they actually spent their time. Their garden. Their workshop. Their boat. The trail they walked every Sunday. No need to rent a chapel if it wasn’t their thing.
Scattering ashes
You can scatter ashes in a backyard, forest, beach, or anywhere with permission. Some people bury them. Others plant a tree. Whatever feels right, go with that.
When You Want to Leave Something Good Behind
Not everyone wants to be buried in a box or have their ashes sit on a shelf. Some people want their body to do something useful after death. These options give back to the planet or turn ashes into something meaningful.
Plant a tree
Ashes can be mixed with soil and used to plant a tree. Some people use biodegradable urns. Others dig straight into the ground. Either way, it grows into something living and rooted.
Join a forest
Companies like Better Place Forests let you choose a protected memorial site where ashes are placed near the base of a tree. Families can visit and know that space is cared for long term.
Become part of a reef
Ashes can be mixed with concrete and placed in the ocean to help build artificial reefs. Eternal Reefs does this in coastal states. It supports marine life and creates something lasting.
Human composting
This option turns the body into soil using natural materials and controlled aeration. It avoids the emissions from cremation and the chemicals used in embalming. The soil can be returned to families or donated to conservation projects.
Creative memorials
Ashes can be turned into glass art, pressed into records, mixed into tattoo ink, or even used to make a diamond. It’s not for everyone, but for some people it feels exactly right.
Say Goodbye Your Way
There’s no rule that says a funeral has to look a certain way. No law that says you have to hand it all over to strangers in suits.
If the traditional funeral doesn’t feel right, you’re not alone. A lot of what we’re offered was designed decades ago for a different time. It often puts more focus on products and packages than on people.
You don’t have to spend ten thousand dollars to show respect. You don’t need velvet curtains or hymns you’ve never heard of. You don’t need someone else to tell you what’s appropriate.
Take your time. Trust your gut. Ask questions. Keep what feels honest and throw out the rest.
Plenty of funeral professionals are ready to support a simpler, more personal process. The good ones will help you do what feels right, even if it’s not traditional.
You’re allowed to do this your way. You don’t need permission.
FAQ – Funeral Alternatives
Is it legal to plan a funeral yourself?
Yes. In most states, you can handle everything yourself or work with a funeral director for just the parts you need.
What’s the cheapest legal option?
Direct cremation. No embalming, no service. Just the basics handled respectfully.
Do I have to use a funeral home?
No. You can keep the body at home for a time, hold your own memorial, and use direct cremation or burial services as needed.
Is human composting legal?
It is in some states and growing. Check local laws or talk to a provider who offers it.
Can I scatter ashes anywhere?
Not quite anywhere. But with permission, you can scatter on private land, in oceans, and in many public places. Always check first.
How do I know I’m not being overcharged?
Ask for a full price list. Compare it. Call a few places. And trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
