Planning a Funeral Service: A Guide to a Meaningful Farewell
Most articles about planning a funeral service will walk you through the same predictable steps—contact a funeral home, meet with a funeral director, pick a casket, schedule a graveside service, pay a large bill. But let’s be honest: traditional funeral services weren’t designed with personal choice in mind. The funeral industry rakes in over $20 billion a year while keeping price transparency low (only about 25% of local funeral homes list their costs online).
But you have options. You don’t have to follow the script.
If a funeral or memorial service is something you want to handle on your terms, you can. Whether you’re considering a memorial service at home, a simple graveside service, or a direct cremation without the traditional upselling, you have more control than you think.
TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)
You have options – A funeral doesn’t have to follow a traditional path.
You can take control – You don’t need a funeral home to plan a meaningful farewell.
Respect comes from intention, not tradition – Personalization matters more than price.
Logistics are manageable – Handling funeral arrangements yourself is simpler than you think.
You are enough – No one knows your loved one better than you do.
The Funeral Planning Process: Where to Begin
If you’re in the midst of funeral planning, take a deep breath. There is no single “right way” to do this. The funeral planning process doesn’t have to feel overwhelming, and you don’t need to be an expert to arrange a meaningful send-off.
You have three main options when planning a funeral:
Go through the traditional funeral industry – This involves working with a funeral director at a funeral home, choosing a package, and following a structured funeral service planning model.
Step up and plan it yourself – Host a memorial service in a place that feels personal, take charge of the logistics, and handle the funeral arrangements yourself.
Use a hybrid approach – Partner with a funeral home for necessary logistics like cremation or burial, while organizing the funeral or memorial service in a way that truly reflects your loved one’s personality and values.
The most important thing? You are enough to do this in a way that feels right for you and your loved one.
Breaking Free from the “Typical Funeral Service”
For generations, funeral services have followed a rigid structure—prayers, an open or closed casket, a somber gathering in a funeral parlor. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Just like people are choosing home births and directing their own medical care, many are also choosing a funeral planning process that better aligns with their values.
Instead of asking, “What’s the typical funeral service like?” consider asking, “What kind of farewell feels right?”
Want to host a memorial service at a bar, a theater, or even in your backyard? You can.
Thinking of skipping the funeral home entirely? Also an option.
Want to take your loved one directly to a crematory or burial site without a full funeral service? That’s doable too.
The Step-by-Step Guide to Funeral Arrangements
If you’re unsure where to start, here’s a step-by-step guide to handling the funeral arrangements yourself:
Decide on the type of send-off – A funeral or memorial service? A graveside service? A small ceremony at home?
Handle the legal documents – You’ll need a death certificate and, depending on your location, a burial or cremation permit.
Choose a final resting place – Cremation, burial in a traditional or natural cemetery, or something else?
Coordinate transportation – You can legally transport a body in most states, or you can hire professionals for direct transport.
Plan the details – Music, readings, speeches, food—make it personal.
Arrange for cremation or burial – Whether through a funeral home or directly with a crematorium or cemetery.
Facing Fears About Planning a Funeral
One of the biggest barriers to planning a funeral outside of the traditional system is fear. What if it doesn’t feel “respectful enough”? What if you forget something? What if others judge your choices?
Here’s the truth: you are enough. No funeral director knows your loved one better than you do. The most meaningful memorial services come from the heart—not from an expensive package at a funeral home.
Let go of the idea that a cookie-cutter approach is the only way to show respect. Respect comes from intention, not from tradition.
Your Farewell, Your Way
A growing number of people are reclaiming funeral service planning as a personal act, rather than a transaction with the funeral industry.
You can legally buy or build your own casket (all local funeral homes must accept it).
You can skip embalming (it’s not required in most cases).
You can transport your loved one yourself.
You can host a memorial service at home, at a favorite park, or anywhere that feels meaningful.
Final Thoughts
The takeaway? You don’t need a funeral director telling you what’s best. Whether you’re choosing a graveside service, a home farewell, or a mix of both, you are capable of handling funeral arrangements in a way that feels true to your loved one.
So, what’s holding you back? If you’re unsure about the legal or logistical aspects, Vita is here to help. We offer a legal review service to ensure you’ve covered everything—so you can move forward with confidence.
This isn’t just funeral planning—it’s an act of love. And love doesn’t follow a template.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. Can I plan a funeral service without a funeral home?
Yes. You can arrange a memorial service, handle legal documents, and organize burial or cremation without a funeral director.
2. What are my options for funeral planning?
You can choose a traditional funeral, a DIY home farewell, or a hybrid approach combining professional services with personal touches.
3. Is embalming required?
No, in most cases embalming is not legally required. Many choose direct cremation or natural burial instead.
4. Can I transport my loved one myself?
Yes, in most states, families can legally transport their loved one without using a funeral home.
5. What if I need help with legal documents?
Vita offers a legal document review to ensure you have everything in place for a smooth process.
