Why Do People Wear Black to Funerals? The History, The Myths, and Why It Might Be Time to Rethink It
Why do people wear black to funerals? It’s one of those traditions so deeply ingrained in Western nations that most of us never stop to question it. But here’s the thing: funeral attire isn’t about a rulebook—it’s about respect. And respect isn’t tied to a color.
For centuries, people have associated black mourning clothing with grief, loss, and solemnity. But what if wearing black isn’t the only way to honor someone? What if dressing in a way that actually reflects the person you’re remembering is the real show of respect?
Too Long; Didn’t Read: Why do people wear black to funerals?
Where It Started: The Roman Empire set the trend for black mourning clothing, and other Western nations followed suit.
What It Means: Traditionally, black clothing represents mourning and solemnity, but that doesn’t mean it’s required.
What Other Cultures Do: In some traditions, people wear white (like in Hindu and Buddhist funerals) or even navy blue and purple, symbolizing rebirth and honor.
Should You Wear Black? There’s no hard rule. Choose funeral attire that feels respectful and right for you.
The Future of Funeral Fashion: People are rethinking traditional color choices, opting for personal and symbolic colors instead.
A Quick History of Wearing Black to a Funeral
The whole black to a funeral tradition? Blame the ancient Romans. When mourning, Roman citizens would wear a toga pulla—a dark wool garment—to signify their loss. The custom stuck, spreading across Europe, and by the Middle Ages, black mourning clothing became a sign of wealth. Why? Because black dye was expensive. If you could afford to dress in head-to-toe black clothing, you were signaling both grief and status.
By the Victorian era, Queen Victoria solidified the trend. After Prince Albert died in 1861, she wore black mourning clothing for the rest of her life. Naturally, the rest of high society followed. And because traditions tend to linger, black to a funeral became a longstanding tradition in Western culture.
But here’s the truth: there’s nothing in any religious or legal text that requires wearing black to a funeral. It’s just something we’ve come to expect.
Why Do People Still Wear Black to Funerals?
Honestly? Because we’re afraid of getting it “wrong.”
Most of us don’t attend funerals often, and when we do, we worry about what’s “appropriate.” The fear of not being enough—not looking respectful enough, not showing enough grief, not dressing the right way—keeps people locked into old traditions. Black clothing feels like a safe choice. No one will question you for wearing black.
But does wearing black really mean respect? Or are we just following an old habit?
Funeral Attire Around the World
Western nations aren’t the only ones with specific funeral attire traditions. Around the world, mourning colors vary:
White: Many Hindu, Buddhist, and Chinese cultures wear white, symbolizing purity and rebirth. In some African nations, white and navy blue are common mourning colors.
Purple: In some European and Latin American traditions, people wear purple to signify dignity and sorrow.
Dark Colors: While black clothing is most common in the West, many opt for dark suits or muted tones instead.
If the rest of the world isn’t bound to black, why should we be?
What to Wear Instead of Black
I’ve been to funerals dressed in black, in white, and in a mix of both. I’ve seen families request guests wear their loved one’s favorite color instead of mourning tones. I’ve attended send-offs where guests showed up in bold prints and bright hues because that’s what felt right for the person they were remembering.
The key isn’t the color—it’s the intent. Dress with respect, however that looks for you.
Take, for example, the time I asked a drag queen to MC a funeral. She arrived looking absolutely stunning—nothing about her outfit was traditional, but everything about it was respectful. And that’s the point: respect isn’t in the color, it’s in the thought behind it.
Breaking Free from the Funeral Dress Code
We cling to traditions because they’re familiar. But funerals aren’t about looking backward—they’re about honoring the life that was lived. And that can look however you want it to.
So, the next time you’re getting dressed for a funeral, ask yourself: Am I dressing for tradition, or am I dressing for the person I’m here to honor? Because that’s what really matters.
Wear black, wear white, wear their favourite colour—just show up with respect. That’s all that counts.
Frequently Asked Questions: Funeral Attire
1. Do I have to wear black to a funeral?
Nope. It’s a longstanding tradition, but not a requirement. Choose funeral attire that feels respectful.
2. What are some alternatives to black funeral clothing?
Consider dark clothing like navy, gray, or dark green. Or opt for a traditional color in other cultures, such as white or purple.
3. Can I wear bright colors to a funeral?
It depends on the family’s wishes. Some prefer guests to wear the deceased’s favourite colour or something symbolic.
4. Why do Western nations wear black while others wear white?
The Roman Empire set the standard for black mourning clothing, but many cultures associate white with purity and transition.
5. What should I wear if I don’t own a dark suit?
Any dark color in a simple, modest outfit works fine—think dark suits, dresses, or slacks with a muted top.
